It is easier to speak when I am not being listened to.

This was something that I would sometimes say to Reiko when she asked why I wouldn't answer the phone in Japanese around her. Heck, I rarely spoke Japanese around her and would choose to be silent unless the situation absolutely required me to speak. The problem was that any time I would make a grammar error or word choice error, there would be at least two hours of complaining about how poor my language skills were.

Not a simple correction. Not a "{blah} would be more natural". No. Non-stop, machine-gun-like complaints about how I've wasted my life not learning to be a native Japanese person.

In the last month, I've spoken more Japanese than I have in the last two or three years combined, and it has enabled me to sign contracts, obtain resources, share ideas, and communicate like a bloody human being.

Why the heck did I wait so long to do this?