Hehehehe … Randolph has no idea just how many blog posts I have locally [randolphwest.ca], stored in .md format, sorted with tags, that will hopefully become a published post at some point. Looking at the file system, I see 18,767 unfinished blog posts. Yesterday I abandoned two after a few hundred words, simply because they didn’t feel right ….

I want to be a better writer. I know what needs to be done to make this happen. I simply haven’t the confidence that I can convert my ideas into a coherent document that outlines the complexity of a situation with the opinion I currently hold on the subject.

This last point is absolutely crucial to communicate, too. My opinions — my biases — evolve over time with exposure to concepts that challenge my own. When it comes to the universe, I know nothing. I’m less useful than a bumbling idiot. I do aim to be better today than I was yesterday, though. If I am truthfully wrong, I want to know. Why am I wrong? Who can guide me to a better understanding, even if I don’t agree? How can I assimilate the new information, the new perspective, into my notion of “correct”?

I want to understand the world better. I want to debate positions that I find alien or incompatible with my understanding of the world. Lord knows I don’t know enough to make an informed decision about very much beyond asinine technology matters, but I want to be a better person. Not just for some vague concept of an audience, but for the people I interact with in my day-to-day life. If I have a better understanding of the world, maybe I can help the next generation understand things a decade or two faster than I did. If the next generation is smarter, then the world will be better off. We need smart people to solve problems, and there’s no denying that I am not up to the challenge of making the world a better place in a public fashion.

When I look in the mirror I see a nameless Pakled who wishes so much to be a Jean Luc Picard.