Why Do I Do It?

Another weekend, another series of work-related messages for "emergencies" that are anything but. A little background knowledge of the company and a reduction in hyperbole would likely enable the company to resolve 80% of its reported "problems" with a simple, 30-second conversation. Instead, there are people "escalating" things as though the sky is falling and servers are exploding … and I'm stupid enough to not only read these messages at all hours of the day, but respond to them as well.

Why, though? What possible value are my soliloquy-length, data-driven responses to members of an organisation who seem to abhor learning?

Over the last couple of months I have found myself becoming more and more frustrated with colleagues. This feeling clearly bleeds into the discussions that ensue, and it's genuinely unfortunate because it's neither professional nor productive. Yet, despite knowing this, I continue to put my time off on hold to check that everything is working smoothly. Messages are seen, chains are read, misconceptions are spread. I jump in like an idiot in order to try and provide information and offer possible solutions that are generally ignored. Then I lose my weekend or time off because the brain is busy thinking about the endless non-issues that consume so much time at the day job.

This has been the general pattern for years and yet I've yet to learn how to disconnect and stay disconnected. But why? Am I trying to solve problems? Am I trying to defend the systems I'm responsible for? Am I trying to feel angry? Am I just stupid? There is likely some truth in all four of these options, but it's not helpful anymore. Maybe it's never been helpful.

There are better things that I should be doing with my time.