Dark Comedy

When Adam Mansbach’s daughter, Vivien, was two years old, she would take up to two hours to fall asleep. Exhausted and exasperated, one night Mansbach posted a note on Facebook, “Look out for my forthcoming children’s book, Go the — to Sleep”.

— via Wikipedia

This is probably a book that I would enjoy right about now, as the boy can require anywhere from 15 to 150 minutes to fall asleep at the end of a day. The amount of time required is not the result of any activity done during the day and seems to be completely arbitrary. The number of times I’ve had to tell the kid to be quiet, lie down, and get some sleep borders on the absurd … and it seems to be completely normal in households across the globe when a child is about three years old. How is it that parents across the planet find the patience to deal with this at the end of most every day?

Some clearly maintain their sanity by writing stories.

If I had the talent to do something similar in a non-copycat sort of manner, I’d write stories with the following titles:

  • Put Your Damned Pants Back On! We’re In Public
  • Save Some Food for the Rest of Us!
  • “No” Means No!
  • Ice Cream Is Not for Breakfast1
  • Think It. Don’t Say It.

Children can be incredibly cute for much of the day, but they’re incredibly good at driving people right up the wall at times.

  1. He’s had ice cream only a handful of times in his life, but he’s very insistent on having some at breakfast time … which is impossible as we don’t keep any in the house.