Once again it seems that in order to meet tight deadlines I'm bullying myself to stay well past the middle of the night to fiddle with whatever happens to be the top priority of the moment. When we're in our late teens and early 20s, staying up all hours of the night to accomplish something was invigorating. A power nap between 5am and 7am was plenty to recharge the batteries for another 22 hours of zeal. So long as half a Saturday or Sunday was spent curled up under the covers, then the cycle could repeat for years … and I have enough first-hand experience doing this to say that years is no exaggeration. When a person is in their 40s, however, the late nights take their toll. Once a week is doable. Twice is a bit rough, but not impossible. More than this results in a person plummeting down a well of pessimism and indifference1.
Weltschmerz is where I find myself again and, unfortunately, it's not a city in Germany2.
At some point I will learn that no good comes from giving up sleep for the sake of an arbitrary deadline. The more I get done, the more there will be waiting for me the next day. Besides, my doctor has told me to slow down. Who am I to argue?
One would be forgiven to think pessimism and indifference were not compatible, as being pessimistic shows that one is not indifferent, but humans are generally complex and often self-contradictory.
I would love to visit Germany for a couple of weeks. Long enough to see the sights and enjoy the culture, while short enough to warrant the desire for another trip.