Responsibility

For quite a bit of 2017 and 2018 I have been unhappy with various aspects of my life. Regardless of all the good that came my way, regardless of the opportunities, I found something that could be twisted into a negative. This isn’t to say that everything would be perfect if I were to simply shut up and be happy for my good fortune. Based on a number of conversations I’ve had with colleagues around the world, the same suboptimal situations would continue to exist regardless of my existence. That said, this long-term negativity has not been the most productive use of energy or time.

This holiday break I resolved to read a number of books on psychology and motivation primarily in order to make sense of the new life circumstances I find myself in, and to plan for the future. A few weeks back I said that I am not management material and maybe this is true for the moment, but it needn’t be a static situation. Last year I sat down for 32 job interviews with other companies, received 4 offers, and accepted none as the working expectations stipulated as part of the hiring process were different from what was agreed upon prior to the offer1? However, as Reiko has so very bluntly stated on occasion, it doesn’t matter where I go as I will never be happy at work.

At this point it would be easy to try and blame others, but this would hardly be accurate or fair. The only person who is responsible for my happiness is me and I need to own this reality.

All things considered, I am in a good place career wise for what I am choosing to do from this point forward. Being gainfully employed, able to work from home most of the time, and provided ample leeway in how tasks are performed, it makes little sense to leave for someplace else. The boy is still young, and any financial instability would put unnecessary stress onto everybody. Instead my goal will be to take proper responsibility for my career and begin making the necessary changes to achieve some goals over the next few years. Some will be easier than others, but all will be important for me to reach my ultimate objectives at work and at home. I have not been the best person I could be. It’s time for a change.

This April I’ll turn 40. The default life accomplishments2 we’re told to strive for have all been obtained over the last dozen years. The second half of my life should be dedicated to accomplishing more worthwhile goals that benefit the communities I’m a part of, whether they’re local, online, or corporate.

The exact details of what and how this will come about has not yet been fully worked out. That said, it’s safe to say that any objectives, timelines, successes, and failures will most likely be recorded here. Come he’ll or high water, I will become the person I want to be.


  1. I’ve asked to work from home a minimum of three times per week with the understanding that international travel (if there would be any) had to take place in three specific months, otherwise it would be impossible to adequately look after the boy. This isn’t an easy condition for many companies to accommodate, particularly in Asia.
  2. Marriage, a decent job, a nice car, children, a dog, and a house. “The American Dream”, more or less.