Lying Pieces of Trash

How do people who fabricate crap like this sleep at night?

Scam Alert

This is the 8th email I've received like this in the last four weeks, and they all have the same fundamental flaws that just scream "SCAM" in big capital letters. First tip is the address, a place I haven't lived at for over ten years. Second is the "SEO" bullshit scam term, as I'd never sign up for that crap even if my site received 0 visitors per century for its obscurity. Third is the notice number, which matches the seven previous scam messages. The wording is also very much like a past-due invoice despite the fact I've never requested services from the lying-ass jerk wads who sent this phishing piece of shit. Some of the smaller lines are comical, too. This gem stands out:

Failure to complete this order by 10/09/2017 . may result in the cancellation of this offer (making it difficult for your customers to locate you, using search engines on the web). […] We sell traffic generator software.

My customers know exactly where to find me. That's why they're customers, not shoppers. Second, "traffic generator software"? So … you're asking me to pay you $86 a year to have bots hit my website more often, further driving up the cost of hosting thanks to all the unnecessary bandwidth that would be consumed?

Just because I've been active on the Interwebs since the 90s doesn't mean I've forgotten how to read.

Then in the easy-to-miss, light-grey footer:

You have received this message because you elected to receive special notification offers. If you no longer wish to receive our notifications, please unsubscribe here or mail written request to Domain SEO Service Registration Corp., Miami Beach, FL 33139. If you have multiple accounts with us, you must opt out for each one individually in order to stop receiving SEO notices. We are a search engine optimization company. We do not register or renew domain names. We sell traffic generator software. This message is CAN-SPAM compliant. THIS IS NOT A BILL OR AN INVOICE. THIS IS A SEO PURCHASE OFFER. YOU ARE UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO PAY THE AMOUNT STATED UNLESS YOU ACCEPT THIS PURCHASE OFFER. This message contains promotional material strictly along the guidelines of the CAN-SPAM act of 2003. We have distinctly mentioned the source mail-id of this email and also disclosed our subject lines. They are no way misleading. Please do not reply to this email, as we are not able to respond to messages sent to this address.

When did I elect to receive these offers? Evidence, please. I will not click a scummy link that only validates my email address nor will I pay international postage and write a letter to a company with no street address. If I have multiple accounts, it's because whatever list they bought or stole containing 8 of my domain names was imported into a crap data system by a n00b who has no concept of completeness. While the footer claims that this email is not a bill nor an invoice, the language in the more easily readable body appears otherwise. Distinctly mentioning a source mail-id and disclosing a subject line does not mean the contents of the message are not misleading. Not being able to respond to messages when people press "Reply" means that the fools who sent this おれおれ詐欺1 clearly do not work for a good company because organizations that send invoice-looking emails only when there are invoices to send want people to contact them if there are questions. It's just good business.

If people want to lie, cheat, and steal their way through life, that's their right and I sincerely hope they drown in a pool of their own spit after being bitten by a rabid bat during a rainstorm. If a person wants to lie to try and cheat or steal from me, they'd better do their fucking homework.

  1. this is a common money scam in Japan where thieves call elderly people pretending to be their children — or calling on behalf of their children — who are in dire straights and need money fast. A horrendous number of people over the age of 80 have lost entire life savings as a result of this scam over the last 20 years.