Throughout our lives we will make important decisions based on what we think is right at the time. Sometimes these decisions pan out … other times, they fail in a blaze of colour.
When I had originally left Ontario in August of 2002 to work and live in BC, I had made the decision for several reasons. One was to start over where nobody knew my name, another was to work my way up the social ladder to become a semi-successful person who seldom worried about things like money. I had sworn to myself that I would never go back to work or live in Ontario because the province seemed grey and lifeless during the 22 years I had spent there.
However, it seems that there is a very real possiblility that I might just move back there for the sake of stable employment. This could be a very good thing as I would be closer to family, but at the same time I would be leaving behind everything I had ever worked for in BC. Sure, it might not be much to look at, but everything I've accomplished in this province I've earned. My few accomplishments have come at great cost, and each has included a lesson that I've had to learn the hard way.
So why am I so reluctant to go back to Ontario where I would have closer access to help?
Reiko has asked me to consider finding work in Ontario as I would be able to make more money there than in some other provinces in Canada. At the same time, I'm looking at attending a decent university to earn a bachelor's degree. I haven't yet decided in what subject, though … there's just way too many enjoyable courses to study. Since a degree will require four years of study, I should go with something that I can really become involved in.
Yet at the same time, I'd really rather stay in BC. Even if it means I need to work twice as hard for half the gain.
Perhaps I'm too stubborn. Once I set a goal for myself, I will not look back. Even if that goal needs to be rescheduled because other factors of life got in the way, I will one day accomplish that goal.
It's situations like this that I wish I had older friends who could give me a little clarity with their experience.